


My Sunshine

by alexcat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 06:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Steve is moved by a mystery singer.





	My Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Luin77](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luin77/gifts).



> For Jenny - who asked for this one.

Steve had stayed away from Tony since he’d gotten back from space. He’d hung back when Carol Danvers landed and brought a thin but still alive Tony Stark home. He’d kept up with Tony’s condition as he’d been hospitalized for a few days and had watched him from afar after that. 

But he didn’t approach him. 

He had missed Tony every single day since Siberia. He wished he could change things, wished he hadn’t had to make the choices he did. He mostly wished he’d not had to hurt Tony. 

They had loved one another, first as friends then as more than that. He remembered the first time, several months after the Chitauri attack on New York. He had gone to Tony in Stark Tower and told him that he wanted more than friendship. He’d been terrified that Tony would say no. Tony had simply held his door open and after Steve stepped inside, he’d taken his hand and led him to the bedroom. 

What was he to say now? There simply weren’t any words. 

He never slept well, often walking the halls of his quarters in Wakanda at night. Sometimes, he was alone and sometimes, he heard others milling about in the dead of night as well. Sometimes he stood on the balcony and looked out over the city at night. 

One night he heard a voice singing…

_The other night dear as I was sleeping_  
_I dreamed I held you in my arms_  
_When I awoke dear I was mistaken_  
_And I hung my head and I cried_

The singer was a man and his voice was soulful and sad, as if he knew the pain of losing someone he loved. Steve remembered the song from before the war, back in the 30s. “You Are My Sunshine” He always thought it was the saddest song he’d ever heard, so sad that Steve turned away and hurried to his room. Once alone, he cried hot tears, tears he’d held in for more than two years.

For the next few nights, the city was quiet when he stood alone on his balcony. No singing. He wondered who it was. Maybe he’d ask around. 

Just when he was sure the singing was a one-time thing, he heard him again. Same song – another verse, this one as sad as the first one had been. 

_You told me once dear you really loved me_  
_And no one could come between_  
But now you’ve left me to love another  
_You have shattered all my dreams_  


Maybe he should talk to Tony. Maybe he needed to tell Tony that he’d never, not even for one minute, stopped loving him. Did Tony even care anymore?

The next day, Steve went to the cafeteria where everyone ate. He saw Natasha eating with Banner and Rhodes. He got something to eat and sat across from them.

“Hello, stranger.” Natasha looked happy to see him. “Did you decide to join the living?”

The words stung because of all the things that had happened to them in the last weeks and months. So many gone, so many dead. Perhaps he had no right to withdraw and act as if he’d died, too. He hadn’t died, though most days he didn’t care much either way.

“Have you heard the singing?” she asked him.

“You’ve heard it, too?”

“We all have, but we don’t know who it is. He sounds so sad.” She reached across the table and took his hand. “I’d think it was you, Steve,” she smiled wickedly, “but I’ve heard you sing.”

He laughed a little, despite himself. “Apparently there are some things the serum couldn’t fix.”

After that day, he began to eat with his friends. He even laughed sometimes. He trained with Natasha and the Wakandan warriors. He ran with Thor through the woods where they’d met Thanos. He tried to make peace with Rhodes. He was sure that it was more the pain he’d caused Tony than his own paralysis that made Rhodes wary of him. He knew that only time could fix that rift, if anything could.

The one person he didn’t see except from afar was Tony. It was apparent that Tony was avoiding him as much as he avoided Tony. He wondered if Tony ached inside like he did.

He was sleeping a little more, but still spent many nights sitting on that balcony, waiting for what, he wasn’t sure of.

Until he heard the singer again.

 _In all my dreams dear you seem to leave me_  
_When I awake my poor heart pains_  
_So won’t you come back and make me happy_  
_I’ll forgive dear I’ll take all the blame_

He seemed to be closer than usual. Steve stood and walked to edge of the balcony. 

There he sat, Tony Stark, with a guitar in his lap, playing and singing the old song from a balcony several rooms down from his.. Steve saw the tears fall down his face as he sang those sad lyrics again. Tony looked up and saw him. He finished the song and went inside. 

Steve stood in the same place for what might have been hours. He wasn’t sure. His own heart ached. He wanted to go to Tony, to beg his forgiveness, to tell him how much he loved him. He went inside instead. He put on his sweats and went down into the city. He ran and ran for hours. The serum gave him superhuman strength and stamina, but it did not keep him from finally becoming exhausted. 

The dawn was lightening the sky when he limped back into his quarters. He didn’t turn on the light and he didn’t see the man sitting on the sofa with a guitar in his lap. 

He began to sing “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” but he never got any further. He lay the guitar aside and stood. “I’ve been waiting for hours. I don’t know why you’ve avoided me since I got back from space, but I decided to find out why.” 

“I hurt you. I don’t deserve your love.”

“Maybe not. But you have it. I tried to stop loving you. I forgave you a long, long time ago, Steve.”

“I never stopped loving you either.” Steve crossed the room and took Tony into his arms. 

“We belong together. We’re stronger together than any force in the universe,” Tony murmured as they kissed, two men whose sorrow had nearly consumed them. 

Hours later, Tony sang the song for Steve again. It didn’t sound nearly as sad as it had before. Perhaps the sun would shine again someday soon on them all.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is "You are my Sunshine". After hearing RDJ sing, Jenny said she could hear him singing this song. If you've never heard RDJ sing, do it! He has a nice voice. 
> 
> My mom always said it was the saddest song she knew.


End file.
